I don't like what's going on, these bombings, this pain. Suffering. Why. When we can literally dance in the streets every day. When. We need to change. It's time.
Things are still funny though. I hope I'd still be spotting jokes even in the trenches. I see puns, bad puns, everywhere. For example; Algae-bra, P(e)D(o)Ffile; see where my mind's at? Turning math into sex jokes. You are amazing, you know. I'm breathing a bit slower, now. This Holoscope, what's it for. How does it work? F*cking Holoscopes, how do they work. Speaking of viral.
There are viruses that live within us. Not physical ones only. There are others. They live within our minds, in the form of ideas, beliefs and information that is ill-founded, misguided, plain bad. I believe a lot of the limitations we experience, the frustration, the blockages of movement in our lives, stem from this blockage of good information, created by bad information. Misinformation. A lack of information.
But that's not what I am here to write about. My life, my process is yours right now. Just a sliver of it. My confusion and frustration, as it is. That's where I am. But I want to come together, to integrate my functions. They're probably irrational.
Suddenly something dumb is annoying me and then things seem funny and I am afraid to begin laughing like crazy. To seem too happy. To seem insane somehow. Like that laughter would be a release of so much more than appreciation for a good joke, like a release of so much stress maybe built up. I don't know. I hope I'm not alone in that feeling.
I go to sleep every night and speak the sound 'booda' while drifting off, straight from the subconscious(TM) and I don't know why.but maybe it relates to the Buddha booda, to the end of the mental suffering that I want. Deep down, whatever that is. Mmmmmmmmm booda. Booda. I mean it's not like horrible mental anguish, but I create a lot of bullshit for myself. I want to create good things.
I hope we can all find a kind of freedom from suffering, because I want to live in a more peaceful world. I imagine one. Peace is such a boring word though. Equinaminty. Fresh.
This may sound too hippie-toned. But I think we can grow in love from now on. We don't need war or violence to define us, we don't need a struggle to define our story as human beings, to push us forward. I want this strife to end. On all levels. I want love, radical expressions of creativity and beauty, for practicality, for their own damn sake. I know I am more powerful than I feel and that I fear it. But I don't need to. We are so powerful. We can change. It's time. Let's meet the sky.
